Fiddler on the Roof

I have to figure this one out by myself;
Now that I've set myself afire
I must pleasure in my pain.

But when tears fuel fires, what is one to do?

For the careless days of youth I've left behind:
The defiant toss of my head,
The spirited spring in my step,
The sparkle in my eyes...
Have mellowed and dimmed in the shadow on my mirror.

Do I drown in you?
Or in the slumbering feelings you've kindled in me anew?
Do I need you?
Or do I need to see myself in yet another hue?
Is it me or is it you?

I have to figure this one out by myself;
Now that I've set myself afire
I must pleasure in my pain.

Shared laughter and companiable silences;
A searching eye-lock and a responsive ghost-smile,
An excuse for a conversation,
An avid wait over a cup of tea...

Does the weary heart recognise the balm it seeks?
Does the fire scorch you too as it burns me with its intensity?

Shared laughter and companiable silences;
My smile awaits your gaze—were it to fall on me.

Let me lie buried on your breast a while longer;
Hold me tighter, don't let me breathe,
Shower my swollen eyes and my tear-washed cheeks...

Let's keep all dark cares beyond our inner circle;
Stop the world seeping into my consciousness!
Hold me tighter and don't let me breathe...

Let us forget for an ecstatic instant,
Let blessed peacefulness descend;
Let me lie spent in your arms a while longer...

The fecund jasmine string and the mogra too
Strewn asunder as the cruel strains flew
Oh Azure Lord who plays the flute so
Brewing within dusky Yamuna a storm anew
Causing dark clouds to burst into rain
Smudging my kohl eyes, drenching me with pain...

And they say that
A drop of poison is far desired
To the beloved’s tears!

(August 2011)